It's About the Pages in THE Book, Not a Page in a Frame

Confession time.
I struggle with the sin of insecurity.  It is a sin because if one truly believed on God's words about our being fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) and how we are the apple of God's eye (Psalm 17:8) and how He loved us so much that He sent His son to die for us (John 3:16) then how could we feel insecure or have a low self-esteem?

One fall I attended a ladies retreat where the guest speaker was Maggie Rowe who spoke on the friendships of women.  Maggie spoke in such an animated fashion.  Well into the retreat I remembered she read a scene from Anne of Green Gables with such enthusiasm that I found myself wanting to yell out, "Then what?"  She had (and still has, I'm sure) a vibrant way of sharing God's message with us.
I was moved at that retreat.  It was then that I first felt the Lord calling me to serve His daughters.  I had no idea how.  Or when.  Or where.  Or... why???  But I definitely heard Him.
Span forward several years and after peripheral involvement in my previous church's women's fellowship group, the Lord called me to serve Him by serving the ladies of my current church as Women's Ministry Coordinator.  Over the past 6+ years I have been blessed to lead the women in many Bible studies and help to organize many special events and retreats in addition to being an occasional speaker  (mostly within our church).  But every so often I have an almost overwhelming feeling of, "Who am I to do this?  I don't have a theological degree.  I don't have any degree.  I have no formal training.  Who am I to speak to women about God and share His word with them?"

Now enter the truth God shared with me today.  Acts 4:13 - When they (the Sanhedrin) saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.   Did you catch that?  "Unschooled, ordinary men."   If God could use Peter and John who didn't have a shiny framed diploma from Bible U between them to reach people for Christ, then why couldn't He use me?

God can use the least to do His work because it reminds us all that it is His Power, His Wisdom and not anything of our own.

Psalm 130

Don't you just love the Psalms?!
I adore their emotion and sentiment.

I was so struck yesterday as I read the beginning of Psalm 130.  "Out of the depths I have cried to Thee, O Lord."  vs. 1.  Can't you just hear the raw emotion?  Have you ever been there, just emptiying yourself  out to the Lord in such honest cry? "Lord, hear my voice!" vs. 2  God always hears us, but sometimes we just want to be sure we have His attention.

My 6 year old son was relaying a story from school on that day.  He was going through the tale in his typical sing-songy fashion with great expression on his face.  About half way through the story he decided that his father's occassional acknowledgements, "Oh ya.  He did?  Really?", were not sufficient and he wasn't convinced that his dad was really listening to him so he climbed up on the couch, continuing with his story, but now his two little hands were on either side of my husband's face to make sure he had his full attention.

I think of this scenario when I read this verse.  It's like David wanted his hands on God's face in order to look him in the eye.  "Are you listening Dad?" 
The answer is in Jer. 29:12 - "You will pray to me and I will hear you."  What a great promise!!

The Psalms are such a great example of how to offer praise and thanksgiving; but what I really love, is their reminder for us to be completely, whole-heartedly honest with God in our prayer. Cry out to Him!

I Could Have Had a Rest-of-Faith!

Do you remember those old V8 commercials?  You know, the ones where someone would partake in a snack that tasted great but offered little to no nutritional value and then they see someone enjoying a vegetable juice and they give themselves a dope-slap while exclaiming, "I could have had a V8!"
Sometimes I feel this way when it comes to missed opportunities with or for the Lord.

This past weekend our church had its 3rd Annual Ladies Retreat.  What a wonderful time we had!! That's a post for another day....  We booked the date of the retreat and the hotel almost a year prior.  In early fall we hired our speaker.  We knew our theme by the beginning of November and from there the active planning and execution began.

Newsletter submissions were written.  Bulletin inserts and flyers were made.  Tickets were printed.  Lists and outlines were drawn up detailing all that was to be done and by whom.  All this happened while our team of four ladies worked, took care of their families, served on other ministries and celebrated Thanksgiving and the birth of our Savior, Jesus.

Once registration was closed in early January, more tasks were now able to be worked on.  As the deadline moved ever closer, I started to feel the pressure.  My mind kept rushing with thoughts; will everything get done?  Will they like the food and will accommodate all of those with allergies/aversions/dietary restrictions?  Will they enjoy the games?  I wasn't able to contact everyone with one item or the other; will they be ok with it?.. and on and on the thoughts went.  I began to lose sleep.  My prayers were changing from praising the Lord for being the whole reason we do this to asking.. no, begging for things to go right.  All the time I would tell myself that this was all in God's hands.  I was saying it, but not fully trusting.

Finally the evening before the retreat as I was constructing a game board we were to use it finally hit me.  I looked over the pile of items that were lined up ready to be packed in the car the next day and thought, "It's all done - or as done as it's going to get and it's good."  God was in control.  All of the stress and sleep deprivation did not make things come together more smoothly.  They did not make things more productive.  I had chosen to give into stress instead of rest in faith.  I settled for worry instead of security.
I had a fizzy, stomach-churning, empty serving of anxiety instead of a generous helping of God given peace.  Now that's a poor choice that deserves a dope-slap!
I was so busy trying to work it all out on my own that I wasn't giving it to the Father and resting in His ability.  When I prayed I forgot to simply ask God to help me to rest in knowing it would be all He wanted it to be.  I should have been still, told Him my concerns and know He would handle it.  Sure, it takes hard work to put on a retreat; but not worry. (Have you ever read a verse instructing us to worry?.. No.  The Bible says over 300 - "Worry not.")

Doh -  I could have had a Rest-of-Faith!

Lesson learned - thank you Lord!!